Thirty? Really?

So this is the face of a THIRTY !!!! year old woman.

Do I look the same?? Different??

Thirty? Really?

I mean where did the time go?

Today felt just like my due date with Liyah- how it was loooming over my thoughts as this big horrible day that is just going to be weird and sad- today is actually turning out to be quite nice.

I confessed to Paul that I have been scared of this day in a way. Like thirty marks the end of certain things- like "youth" and "fertility" and "fun" and...  and the beginnings of other things like "wrinkles" and "frumpy clothes" serious "adult things"

...And I'm thinking, **when did I start to beleive these things??**

Who says that is what THIRTY means??

I don't know when, where, or how I came to think this way, but I have had to pray against it so much these last few weeks.  So here I am, at Starbucks (pictured above:) realizing none of those lies are true. God is happy that I am thirty, He still has lots of good things planned for me. Someday I believe I will have children, and hopefully while I am in my thirties :)

I still have my youth, not too many wrinkles, can still dress semi-fashionably and what's more: I have the priceless gift of family and friends who love me and aren't going anywhere.

I have been through a lot this last year, it felt like my heart broke into a million little pieces, but God has helped to put all those pieces gently and lovingly back together. While doing so He has sown in a new thread of faith and trust in His lovingkindness, and the promise that HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME.

He has also reminded me that He hasn't forgotten me either.

What a gift.

God's birthday present to me I think is this :

I will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deut. 3:18

I think thirty might just be great :)

...especially with this guy by my side... :)



Mom's 60th Birthday and Night of Blessing

This weekend, my family and I got to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday.

About three years ago Paul and I were at a seminar called "The Ancient Paths" which spoke about the importance and power of blessing others. One of the speakers said something that stuck with me for a long time. He was speaking about blessing our parents and he said, "Don't wait till you are at their funeral to bless your parents. Do it now while they are still around to hear it." I knew right away that this was something I wanted to do for my mom. As her 60th birthday got closer, I also knew that this was the best year to do it.

So we invited 25 of of my moms closest friends and family and we threw her a birthday party and night of blessing.

I asked everyone to come prepared to give a a blessing to my mom. A special memory, kind words, a special scripture etc. So after we ate dinner my sweet husband started with his blessing then for 45 minutes, as each person felt comfortable they shared their kind blessings to my mom. It was so wonderful!!

I thought later what a priceless gift we can give to the people that we love. To bless eachother and tell them why they are meaningful to us. It doesn't cost the giver a thing, but it is a priceless gift to the receiver.

After the blessing ceremony we had cake and ice cream and my mom sipped coffee and got to open her presents while we enjoyed eachothers company.

I prayed that this night would give my mom new purpose and meaning for this next season of her life, and I think it has. She told me a few days after the party, I never knew that just me being me was touching so many other lives. How wonderful that she knows that now and can walk confidently knowing that she is meaningful, valuable and priceless.

A blessing is a powerful thing. I encourage you to bless someone you love today by speaking well of them and letting them know how much they mean to you. Thanks for letting me share about this special night :)

Happy Birthday Mom!! I love you so much.

The Shameless Gardener

The other night, the coolest thing happened. I was making dinner and said to my self, "We need some fruit or veggies with this dinner." So, I didn't go looking in the pantry for canned green beans, or go to the freezer where there is usually something to defrost, or head to the store to get something (good thing cuz it's like 30 minutes away)...what I did was walk straight out my back door to my GARDEN! I cut us some fresh brocolli, picked some sum-warmed strawberries and even pulled off some sugar snap peas from my very own garden. It was sooooo rewarding!

I think I say to Paul at least once a day, "I LOVE having a GARDEN!"

My closest friends and family know that this garden did not come easy, as last year It was not until my third attempt at planting and re-planting that things finally started to grow. Lots of sweat and even some tears went into her, but she is worth it (yeah, I guess my garden's a girl :)

So all that to say, I am still celebrating LIFE, and the things big and small that God has given me.

And to say,

if you don't have one, I think you should :)

If you live in California I think strawberries and tomatoes are by far the easiest.

Hope you're having a good day!

Liyah's Tree

I have been wanting to do this for a long time. To plant a tree.

The night we found out that we had lost Liyah, someone gave me the suggestion to plant a tree in honor of her LIFE. I really wanted to do that, but we were grieving so badly that we could not muster up the strength and the mental capacity to even make the smallest decisons, let alone what type of tree to buy, and where to put it. So we just never did it. But as June 9th was coming closer, I knew that if we were going to do it, now should be the time. We looked around briefly at different trees, and I knew that I wanted one that would flower, and of course I wanted one that was pretty. I kept noticing this purple leaved Plum Tree. I liked that it was different, and that it stood out among all the other evergreens. So we went into town and decided that this was the tree we were going to buy.

We used the money that had been set aside to buy Liyah's crib, to buy her a tree instead.

We invited our sweet friends Clint and Carla over to be part of this special evening with us. They were a true blessing, and really understood the meaning of what we were doing.

 Where there used to be death, and nothing but an old stump...

we planted LIFE instead.

This is our Flowering Plum Tree. This is Liyah's Tree.

Due Date.

Today was supposed to be our due date. But it is not.
I have thinking about this day for a while now. Out of no where this thought would pop into my head... June 9th is coming. I anticipated this day to be such a sad day in my heart. To feel so incredibly deeply the loss of our little girl who is now in heaven with Jesus. I have already cried about this day and prayed about this day. This day was supposed to be the day that we might have possibly brought Liyah home from the hospital and put her in her nursery. And had our home filled with life and joy and laughter. But that is not happening today.
But there are other things happening today. Good things, all around me. I went on a walk this morning and God reminded me of all these good things...

I have an incredibly sweet husband who loves me and who is healthy and full of LIFE. And I get to share my LIFE with him.

I have two arms and two legs and a pumping heart. I am able to go on walks, and create things, and I am healthy and God had sustained my LIFE.

I have two big  families who I adore and who bring joy to my heart and comfort to my soul and everyone of their LIFE's I love.

I have neices and nephews who represent LIFE to me every day. They make me happy when I spend time with them. They are precious little LIFE's to me.

I have friends who remind me that LIFE is good. They listen and they care and they love me.

I have a safe home and little garden that grows and brings LIFE and nourishment to my body.

Our church family is full of LIFE and people that I love. People that I get to walk alongside and do LIFE with.

I have a Heavenly Father who has granted me LIFE, 29 (...almost 30) years ago. He saw fit to grant my mom with a little LIFE called, Merced because He has a good plans for my LIFE (Rom. 8:28) and He has good works prepared in advance for me to do (Eph.2:10).
And only He could be so kind to grant me such a new perspective on this day.

So life...as I think about our precious little LIFE that was in me for 21 weeks, named Liyah Mercy Wright. I am a sad that she is gone, and I will forever miss her. And today I will be sad off and on all day. But at the same time...
today, I am going to choose to celebrate LIFE.

Join me.

Liyah Mercy- we love you.

Two Peas in a Pod

So...we have decided to join the 'world wide web' and give so many of the people that we don't get see on a regular basis, an update of our lives here in the country. Although we are still in California, it feels like we are worlds away here in the northern part of the state. We have lived in Orland (well actually a little water distrct called Capay, if you can find Capay on a map, I am very impressed) for the last 3 1/2 years in a little parsonage next to our church. Here are some visuals:

If you have never been up to visit, here is a picture of our cute little house

and here is a picture of our cute little church and church family

and here is a picture of our cute little cat that weasled her way into our house by sleeping on our front mat for two days. We let her in just for some water and the rest is history. She's been ours for three years now. But, she does like to study the Bible, so she's a good fit.

 and here's a picture of our cute little baby (at 10 weeks) that we are going to have in June!!

Yippe! Stay tuned :)