Thirty? Really?

So this is the face of a THIRTY !!!! year old woman.

Do I look the same?? Different??

Thirty? Really?

I mean where did the time go?

Today felt just like my due date with Liyah- how it was loooming over my thoughts as this big horrible day that is just going to be weird and sad- today is actually turning out to be quite nice.

I confessed to Paul that I have been scared of this day in a way. Like thirty marks the end of certain things- like "youth" and "fertility" and "fun" and...  and the beginnings of other things like "wrinkles" and "frumpy clothes" serious "adult things"

...And I'm thinking, **when did I start to beleive these things??**

Who says that is what THIRTY means??

I don't know when, where, or how I came to think this way, but I have had to pray against it so much these last few weeks.  So here I am, at Starbucks (pictured above:) realizing none of those lies are true. God is happy that I am thirty, He still has lots of good things planned for me. Someday I believe I will have children, and hopefully while I am in my thirties :)

I still have my youth, not too many wrinkles, can still dress semi-fashionably and what's more: I have the priceless gift of family and friends who love me and aren't going anywhere.

I have been through a lot this last year, it felt like my heart broke into a million little pieces, but God has helped to put all those pieces gently and lovingly back together. While doing so He has sown in a new thread of faith and trust in His lovingkindness, and the promise that HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME.

He has also reminded me that He hasn't forgotten me either.

What a gift.

God's birthday present to me I think is this :

I will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deut. 3:18

I think thirty might just be great :)

...especially with this guy by my side... :)